Free at Last

My left arm has been incarcerated for 56 days. The parole officer declared that as there is normal radio-capitellar alignment on the lateral view, I could be released. Just sign on the dotted line…
Everybody lied about the exfoliation issue. Nobody told me about the sensory overload.
Or about the scrambled messages from resting [...]

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Eat Eat Eat. Fat Fat Fat.

 I’m a sucker for new products. Especially for baaaaaad food.
Yesterday was a double whammy…
Bokomo Premium Double Chocolate Rusks: I was a responsible consumer and noted that they were similarly priced to the normal rusks. But when I got home and opened the box I noticed the large expanse of emptiness above the bag. Hmm. Bokomo [...]

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Some things I’d rather not know…

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On Supermarkets

It’s been a week since the Claremont Pick ‘n Pay reopened. Today I thought it would be safe to go and gawk at their sushi bar. Wrong.
I get parking on level 4, which should have been a clue…

Bloody hell. That’s the queue to get into the shop.
I sigh and head [...]

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Tunnelling for Profit

Have you noticed that the more ‘advanced’ a town is, the straighter the roads are into the town?
Winding roads are straightened by cuttings which dissect hills, and bridges which span rivers. Flyovers are built over difficult terrain and mountains are tunnelled through.
I can’t think of any exceptions. It makes sense: In simple terms, the easier [...]

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Muti Trek in October’s Top Bike magazine

 
The Muti Trek* is a cover story in the latest issue of Top Bike magazine. More than ten pages of photos and editorial. Extremely valuable exposure for Ducati, and great advance publicity for the book.
It’s just a pity that the article is so poorly written. Factually and grammatically. I paged through the rest of the magazine, [...]

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9/11 – Where were you in 2001?

A pigeonhole snapshot for the definitive moments of your life.
Remember when you heard about Lady Di’s accident? And the tsunami? Where were you? What were you doing? How did you find out? Who was the first person you told? Why that person? Where was the closest radio or television you turned to, [...]

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So how IS your mum?

People look at me earnestly. Their eyes telling me that they care. They know she’s not well, but don’t know what to do or how to help.
Her mind is as sharp as ever. Her blue eyes still flash when she talks about something that excites her. She is willing to share her knowledge [...]

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“Religion? Don’t get me started!”

I said, “Sorry, I’m can’t come to your braai, I’m going to church.”
I didn’t try to convert you, or even tell you that I believe in God. All I did was turn down your invitation.
You’ve always made it clear that religion sucks. I’ve acknowledged your stand without argument. You’ve condemned anyone who [...]

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RSS rocks!

I confess I’m a bit backward in coming forward when it comes to technological toys.
My latest discovery is RSS feeds. Yeah, I know. I can see you gaping in disbelief, “Wha’…”
Admittedly, I’ve only just upgraded from Windows 2000 to XP. And to IE7. Too scared to try Firefox yet. Gimme a [...]

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This Old House

I’m alone, dozing in the sun. Curled up on the couch, I relish my solitude and cherish the silence. I empty my mind and listen to the house.
But it’s not quiet. A creature scampers in the ceiling. The shower dribbles as an air bubble leaves the pipes. A bird [...]

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Staying in Paris. Plaster of.

I’ve been sentenced to two more weeks of arm prison.
There is a healing fracture of the distal ulna with callus formation. The fracture remains incompletely united.
Sounds like the politically correct version of ‘failure’. It appears that my forearm has achieved a deficiency.
The report goes on to say:  There is no significant malalignment.
But if I compare [...]

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I love ya Tomorrow, you’re only a day away…

Priority One: My cast comes off. The thing that has hampered my every movement for the last six weeks. The thing that smells like old socks and is covered in paint and red wine stains.
Priority Two: I am having an operation to remove the granuloma* on my vocal cords. Under [...]

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On Outlaws

Mr Muffin (formerly known as Hun), has invited his ex-wife and her husband to stay with us for the fortnight they are on holiday from Oz in the not-so-sunny RS of A.
Mrs Muffinex and I really get on well and respond equally readily to each other’s names when called. People give us Knowing Looks, [...]

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One More Day

If you could spend one more day with anyone, who would it be?
Your gran who smelled of antique roses? That teacher who gave you a love for language, science, history…? Someone who died before you had a chance to say good-bye?
Regrets are such a waste. We become too self-absorbed to [...]

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