My mother made me do it.

“What is a camel hair paintbrush made from?”
Mum was the only person who knew that the answer was squirrel hair. So we won the quiz.
My friend, Possum, and I dropped mum at home, and she asked us to come in for a celebratory drink. We said yes, what a good idea.
Four hours of [...]

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A Christmas to Remember

It was quiet in the recreation room at the retirement village. Mr Beaton was doing his crossword and muttering to himself each time he had to look something up the dictionary. The television was on mute, and Mrs Goldsmith paged through last week’s People, looking up at the enthusiastic talk show host every now and [...]

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All choked up

Suddenly she felt a choking thing in her throat – she clutched at the keyboard and random letters spewed onto the screen. She couldn’t breathe. She coughed. Heaved. Retched. It wouldn’t budge. She screamed for help, but only a punctured gasp escaped. The keyboard skidded away across the [...]

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An Oh F*ck Moment

I’ve taken a few baby steps in a new life direction.
Tonight I met someone who could make a big difference in whether it will work. I was introduced, and because I hadn’t done my homework, I just held out my hand, smiled, and said hello. He smiled back, and said that my name [...]

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Monday Morning Musings

It’s nine o’clock and the radio is playing happy music in the background. The sun is playing with a breeze, creating a monochromatic kaleidoscope on my desk. The dog is snoring on the carpet behind me. In the garden, birds are playing in the spray from the sprinkler.
Enveloped in the [...]

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Perhaps they’ll listen now…

“What do you think, Dusty?”
I think you’re an idiot.
“I don’t know, sir.”
“Come on Dusty, you must have an opinion?”
I do.  And don’t smile at me with those disgusting teeth.  You make me sick.
“It’s nice, sir”
“Just nice?  Surely you can see the beauty in those words?”
Yes I can, but you’re so ugly with that revolting beard [...]

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On Non-Swimmers

A friend asked me if I knew why non-whites are referred to as non-swimmers.
“Duh. Because they can’t swim.”
“Ah. But do you know why they can’t swim?”
“Well, it’s not really part of their culture.”
“Wrong. During the apartheid era there was nowhere to swim. They weren’t allowed to use the public baths. They [...]

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