Archive for July, 2008

It could mean anything. From curmudgeonly to describing toe fungus.

I saw it for the second time ever today, in Newman’s Birds. I was checking to see what has been attacking the White-eyes at the feeding bottle. It’s an African Goshawk.

‘Crepuscular’ took me back to the first time I read it, in Robert’s Bird Book. We were in a game park; and as I’m not in the habit of carrying a dictionary, I went mad trying to work out what it meant.

Now, I don’t care. I’m just glad that ‘crepuscular’ reminded me what a magical holiday that was.


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We all know how widespread the Dop System is, right?


Fewer than ten per cent of labourers interviewed have been ever been exposed to this system. But these aren’t facts that sell newspapers.

Neither are the other, harsher truths about Foetal Alcohol Syndrome:

De Aar has an 80% unemployment rate and almost 100 shebeens; many of them operating of the back of bakkies which travel between farms.

There are only two traffic lights in De Aar; yet this town has a problem with street children.

Just think: If alcohol had been invented now, it would have been banned immediately.

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Neil Simon once said that the world is made up of Watchers and
Do-ers. The Watchers sit around watching the Do-ers do. And sometimes it is harder to watch what is being done than to do what is being watched.

Directing a play is much like that.

I sit in the empty auditorium, watching actors ‘do’ for two and a half hours. I just watch, ‘doing’ nothing. But watching is the only requirement of that doing action. Nothing else is right. It still feels wrong.

I suppose it’s like watching someone die. There is nothing you can do. Just watch.

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I often battle to get anywhere on time. Even if it’s something important. Or something I really want to do.

It’s taken years, but I’m slowly coming right. I slip up occasionally; but nowadays I get it right more often that I get it wrong.

So, knowing this weakness of mine, why do I think I have the right to get angry with someone else’s tardiness? Even more so when it’s an arrangement I’ve initiated?

I suppose it’s just the same as the reason I find that all the other motorists drive like idiots; but I drive just fine, thankyouverymuch.

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I’ve been accused of being anal about control of the family diary.

So when we were invited to a party by one of Hun’s friends, I thought this an ideal opportunity to relinquish control. He told me it was a party with the theme of Crazy Shoes. The New Me believed him.

So last night he donned his sheepskin slippers* and off we went.

He got it wrong.

We got the prize for the first couple to ever go partying in the Waterfront in slippers.

Please help – I feel he pulled the wool over my eyes.

Yours sheepishly,


*The Cellphone Camera Never Lies:

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Because volunteers do something for nothing, ‘voluntors’ can’t crap on them if they do something badly. Because they’ll say, “Fine!”

And leave.

And then you’re stuffed.

So you learn the art of the Schmooze.

You’re fabulous, but…

This isn’t working, I don’t know what to do. You’re so clever, what do you think?

If you get bust doing the Schmooze, hopefully the culprit is graceful enough to try harder anyway.

Volunteers are supposed to be doing what they do because they believe in it. Then why the attitude?

Hmm. Perhaps it’s not the volunteer that’s in the wrong after all…

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The leather uppers and soles of my favourite Green Cross slip-ons are parting company.

My ‘friends’ find this particularly amusing when I am wearing white socks. I’ve usually found it easy to shrug off their derogatory comments; but this morning I realised that their chirps may be cutting deeper that I know.

Because last night I had a dream.

I was fleeing the German WWII Panzers, and thought I was home and dry; until I heard the following exchange:

“Heinz! She iss gettink avay. After her!”

“Don’t vorry Klaus. I can see her. Ze shoes, zey are smilink at me.”

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